A Proverbial Attempt at Wordplay (2)

Continuation of lines from A Proverbial Attempt at Wordplay.

  • If I cannot see further, it is because giants are standing on my shoulders.
  • Even if we can kill two birds with one stone—that’s still a lot of stones to ground Twitter.
  • Repartee is what we wish we had 24 hours earlier said; procrastination is what we wish we had 24 hours earlier not done.
  • If I had a dollar, I would spend it. Perhaps that’s why I had to say “if.”
  • A stopped clock is correct twice a day; a stopped nuclear bomb is correct.
  • Nothing speaks louder than a sword.
  • Facebook status updates are both common and important. But unfortunately, those that are common are not important, and those that are important are not common.
  • The Internet is like the electromagnetic force—without it, our world would collapse.
  • If all the world’s a stage, then who or what is controlling the curtain?
  • A sword with no blade is just as mighty as a pen with no ink.
  • Football is like tennis—only the rules, players, and equipment are different.
  • Pi contains an infinite number of digits, but my digits contain only a finite amount of pie.
  • A mistake is a mistake; an error is an error.
  • Do not worry about the meaning of life; just make yours a life of meaning.
  • We are just as excited for the celebration of a new decade as we are for the celebration of a new millennium. Why not celebrate every day?

A Proverbial Attempt at Wordplay

After going through The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce and some other collections of funny, clever, witty quotations, I felt inspired to conjure (amateurishly) some of my own. So, here we go:

  • The early bird gets the worm, but the late bird gets the moth.
  • You can hit two birds with one stone, but never a stone with two birds.
  • What one fool can do, another can. What one genius can do, another can’t.
  • There are three types of flies: flies, damned flies, and mosquitoes.
  • All bugs come with software. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true.
  • I believe everything, except lies.
  • Theorems are true, unless proved false.
  • Don’t give up on your realities—they may become your dreams.
  • If imagination is normal, then reality is parallel.
  • If a stopped clock is correct twice a day, then a stopped program crashes twice a minute.
  • The moon outshines the sun, at night.
  • When stuck, try to move on.
  • With every step we take, we come closer to putting the future behind us.