Explained: 11 Ways Christians Are Like Atheists

Last time, I wrote a post called “11 Ways Christians Are Like Atheists,” which got quite a few more views than normal. It was a satirical piece, and from the reactions on some sites, it was clear that some people did not grasp the sarcasm, instead thinking it to be a serious post. I think it is worth spending some time explaining the references behind it and to explain why I wrote it the way I did.

The primary motive was to expose the framing bias in the question, “How are atheists like Christians?” by demonstrating it in the flipped question, “How are Christians like atheists?” When you ask, for instance, “How can an atheist be as moral as a Christian?,” the question presupposes that atheists are less moral than Christians and even by answering the question at all, you are conceding that presupposition, no matter how well you answer it. This is because the answer will boil down to trying to explain a secular moral framework, but will hardly convince a Christian who already believes that a theist framework is the best possible approach.

Hence, my method of getting Christians to see this is to flip the question around. When you ask, “How can a Christian be as moral as an atheist?,” now we are presupposing that atheists have the moral high ground and it is up to Christians to prove that they can be as moral.

But there was a secondary motive as well. To further the comparison, I not only flipped around not only the questions, but also the answers, to match the abysmal quality of argument and patronizing tone common to theist arguments. Theists make plenty of terrible arguments that even the worst atheist arguments don’t compare to. There are plenty of Christians, for example, who are seriously making the argument that atheists secretly worship the devil, yet no atheist seriously accuses Christians of secretly worshiping Hades, Greek god and ruler of the underworld.

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Obviously, point #4 (Christians must secretly worship the devil) is not a serious claim that Christians secretly worship Satan, but to draw an analogy to the claim that atheists secretly worship Satan. In fact, I think my argument is quite flawless:

Atheists don’t even believe the devil exists, so how could we worship it? Christians, on the other hand…

I’m going to revisit each point and explain some of the story and satire behind them.

1. Christians also defer to science for *almost* everything (“Atheists also have faith”)

Here I argued that Christians primarily use products (computers, phones, tablets, vaccines, cars) or actions/thoughts (washing hands, going to a real doctor, gravity) that come directly from the result of science and reason. They rarely, if ever, go against scientific reasoning (outside of thinking about God). It is a response to Christians arguing that atheists also use faith.

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Some Christians have such a messed up understanding of atheists (not necessarily their fault; indoctrination is very strong) that they cannot fathom someone just not believing in something. It’s the “You always have to believe in something” sentiment that is poisonous to understanding. However, rather than getting into the faith argument, my tactic was to turn it around and claim how Christians use science for almost everything.

2. Christians secretly doubt the existence of God (“Atheists secretly believe in God”)

This is one I’ve heard only a few times but it is really funny every time.

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And yet…

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Again, the point of my article was to flip this around on Christians, thus claiming that Christians secretly doubt the existence of God. I could have gone further, to outright claim that Christians secretly deny this existence of God, but it had to be somewhat believable, at first. Note that points 1-3 are semi-reasonable, to set up a surprise for the rest of the article.

3. Christians don’t believe in Zeus, Thor, or Vishnu either (“Atheists must believe in something“)

Like in #1, it is commonly claimed that atheists must believe in something. Again, rather than directly addressing this point, I gave the argument that Christians don’t believe in any of the other myths, so if they didn’t believe the Christian God, they wouldn’t necessarily believe in something else. In addition, the framing was a reversal of a famous quote:

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Instead I framed it as “Christians just stop one god short,” to fit the theme of making atheism the norm and trying to fit Christians into the norm.

4. Christians must secretly worship the devil (“Atheists must secretly worship the devil”)

The screenshots from the intro should suffice. 🙂

5. Christians can also be intelligent (“The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.” Psalm 14:1)

Starting at this point, the article starts taking a patronizing attitude towards theists as theists normally do to atheists. Obviously, the claim that “Christians can also be intelligent” presupposes that there is some reason to believe that Christians are less intelligent. This, of course, is a mirror of the standard claim that atheists are fools for not believing in God. The Psalm verse is plain evidence of that.

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In addition, in the writing itself, I threw in some typical theist debate fallacies such as:

  • pointing to certain statistics as if they were the most relevant (the National Academy of Science statistics for general intelligence),
  • linking to claims made by a media site that in turn talks about (and may have motive in exaggerating) the results of a research study (the atheists have higher IQs study),
  • attempting to be “fair” but actually being very demeaning (“But this does not mean all religious people are unintelligent”), and
  • downright patronizing (“Some are indeed very intelligent, and indeed, even they can contribute positively to human knowledge”).

A few more sentences in there and it would have been a genuine gish gallop.

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6. Christians can have morals too (“Atheists can have morals too”)

This is one of the biggest points to address. It’s somehow assumed that Christians are moral and atheists have to somehow justify themselves.

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Everyone asks, “Can atheists be moral?” But very few people turn it around and ask, “Can Christians be moral?”

The point of bringing up homosexuality was that atheists generally have no problem with other people being homosexual, whereas Christians are either (1) fond of being intolerant of homosexuality and denying rights to homosexuals, or (2) accepting of homosexuality and therefore ignoring parts of the Bible. So while the Christians in (1) are simply immoral, the Christians in (2) have based their morality on something higher than an ancient text (yet still revere it to some degree). In the case of homosexuality, it is apparent that the more moral the Christian, the less one follows the Bible. This raises the question, to what degree can a Christian be moral? And if someone is not following the Bible, how is that person a Christian?

The second example was the prison demographics. While a small portion of the population to begin with, atheists represent an even smaller portion of the population in prison, by a factor of 34. Of course, there are other factors involved; e.g. atheists tend to be better educated than average, and better education is negatively correlated with prison. However, it’s doubtful that adjusting for education/other parameters could explain the factor of 34. With these two examples alone, one would think that atheists are generally more moral than Christians, and it would be up to Christians to demonstrate that they can be as moral as atheists.

7. Christians can also have humility (“Why are atheists so arrogant?”)

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Again, instead of explaining that atheists are not arrogant, the point was to show that Christians are only more arrogant.

“Atheism is the arrogant belief that the entire universe was not created for our benefit.

…and that contrasts with the humble religious belief that the most power creature ever created the entire universe of over one hundred billion galaxies, each of which contains over a hundred billion stars like our sun, and then waited for about fourteen billion years, and then picked one of the one hundred billion galaxies, and then picked one of the hundred billion stars within that galaxy, and then picked one of the planets circling that star, and then picked one of the millions of species that existed on that planet, and then picked one individual of that species and said ‘I really think I’ve got to tell that guy to stop gathering sticks on the sabbath.’”

The prayer point is another interesting point I’ve heard, that praying for something should never happen since that inherently shows questioning of God’s plan, that you know better than the creator of the universe.

8. Christians can also experience awe and wonder (“Atheists can also experience awe and wonder”)

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To flip this around, how can a Christian possibly feel awe? If you believe in a God that is truly omnipotent and infinite, then creating and managing the entire Earth is a trivial task; entire universes can be created on a whim. Then how could one tiny thing in a miniscule corner of a planet among billions of them in a galaxy among billions in one universe among infinitely possible universes, be inspiring of awe?

The second part is a direct reference to an Oprah Winfrey interview with swimmer Diana Nyad. Nyad is an atheist, and when she talked about this on Oprah’s show, a hilarious exchange occurred, in which Oprah stated Nyad could not be an atheist, to her face.

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“After all, if a Christian proclaims to be in awe, isn’t this Christian really an atheist, since only an atheist can truly be in awe?”

9. Christians can also be happy (“Can atheists be happy?”)

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Of course, the argument that Christians cannot be happy because they are in perpetual fear of hell is a satirical argument, but it’s actually quite hard to argue against. On the other hand, happiness is something everyone can have, even religious people.

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10. Christians can also love (“Atheists are incapable of love”)

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There’s plenty of great answers to this around the web. However, if you flip the question, how can Christians love? If they’re merely commanded to love by the Bible, to try to maximize their chances of getting into heaven, how is it actually legitimate? “It’s hard to call this fake display of affection ‘love,’ but I guess we’ll let it slide.”

11. Christians can be good people too (“Atheists can be good people too”)

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Even more, there’s somehow this notion that if you’re good, you must secretly not be an atheist.

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This is indeed one of the most flawed assumptions of American society. Christianity is automatically associated with good, despite the terrible things that have been done, and are being done, in the name of God. Conversely, anything other than Christianity is associated with evil. This is really one of the paradigms that must shift for society to progress.

Conclusion

The last paragraph drew some attention because of the blatantly patronizing language, but that was the point (“Given time, they will see the error of their ways…”). It was, in fact, largely a paraphrase of this quote towards the end:

“The Lord has redeemed all of us, all of us, with the Blood of Christ: all of us, not just Catholics. Everyone! “Father, the atheists?” Even the atheists. Everyone! And this Blood makes us children of God of the first class! We are created children in the likeness of God and the Blood of Christ has redeemed us all! And we all have a duty to do good. And this commandment for everyone to do good, I think, is a beautiful path towards peace. If we, each doing our own part, if we do good to others, if we meet there, doing good, and we go slowly, gently, little by little, we will make that culture of encounter: we need that so much. We must meet one another doing good. “But I don’t believe, Father, I am an atheist!” But do good: we will meet one another there.”

Yes, “even” the atheists. How modest.

The speaker of that quote was Pope Francis.

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