So I don’t actually know what that title means, and I don’t even know what I’m going to say in this post. All I know is that I’ve been living a very different lifestyle this break than ever before, and this lifestyle is not especially conducive to blogging.
In the last month or so, I’ve accomplished virtually nothing measurable other than leveling a WoW character from 70 to 85. I’m also about 80 pages into a novel I’ve been wanting to read, but I’m so much less far on it than I had planned. There are actually 6 novels sitting on my desk, and I’ve started only one of them. So far my January project of reading has been a failure. I guess that, considering my rather successful November and December projects of novel-writing and daily-blogging respectively, I’m altogether more motivated in writing than in reading. Did college do this to me? Combining the novel and all the essays I wrote, and also blog posts, I think that last semester, I might possibly have, for the first time in my life, written more than I read. The answer is probably yes.
And here I am, writing instead of reading. Writing about what? I don’t know. Writing about writing. So why did I write 44 posts last month and only 4 so far this month? Maybe a burn out. Or that I’m a very anti-habitual person. I never want to do the same thing for a long time. Of course there are ways to spice things up—in the long run, I don’t get bored of blogging because I blog about so many different things. I’m fine with doing the same thing differently; I just can’t stand doing the same thing the same way. And it needs to be differently different, too. Let me explain.
For example, last semester, to get to one of my classes from my dorm I had two main paths, one going over the Thurston Bridge and the other over a smaller bridge that went by a waterfall. For the first couple weeks I took the Thurston Bridge path exclusively, as I thought it was shorter than the waterfall path. But then one day I went the other path and timed it, with about the same time, maybe a minute slower (out of a total of 15 minutes). So I started taking the waterfall path exclusively. But eventually that got boring too, so I started alternating every time. You might think that’s how it ended.
But a consistent change like that is still… consistent. Still the same. It was still repetitive, and still very predictable. Perhaps the mathematical side of me started running pattern-search algorithms or something. Eventually, I ended up on a random schedule, not repeating the same pattern in any given span of 3 or 4 days. (This is actually pseudo-random, seemingly more random than true random.) Anyways…
I’m reading over the last two paragraphs and wondering, is there something wrong with me? I mean, is that unusual? A randomizing behavior? If anything, it almost seems like an anti-OCD, as I was trying to break a repetition, not to follow one.
Hmm, well it seems I have gone off quite a tangent there. Originally I was going to talk about not accomplishing much. Maybe this break is too long. A 5-week break. Then again, my two weeks of finals were pretty rough. Has it really been an entire month since I handed in my final paper for history? If there’s one thing to be gained, I am certainly caught up on sleep. After averaging maybe 5 hours a day of sleep during my first semester of college, I’m now averaging 10 hours of sleep at home. And meeting with high-school friends has been really fun. It’s interesting to see how people have overall not changed that much, even though that one semester felt like an eternity. (Not without exception, however.)
So what the heck then is the point of this post?! I still have no clue. Maybe I’m lost. After the novel I am currently on, I have queued up Walden, which seems to be the perfect book for me to read right now. I can’t believe I’m leaving Austin in a week, exactly one week. There are still many things I want to do or read or blog about, and at the rate I’m going, I won’t finish.
It’s like life has been preparing you for a race, and when you actually need to run it, you just don’t feel like running.
Okay, bad analogy, I’m not even sure what that was supposed to mean.
Anyway, it seems like my blogging philosophy of no blogging philosophy is turning out some strange posts. I guess that will be my 2011 project: to blog spontaneously, and see what occurs of it.