A Proverbial Attempt at Wordplay

After going through The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce and some other collections of funny, clever, witty quotations, I felt inspired to conjure (amateurishly) some of my own. So, here we go:

  • The early bird gets the worm, but the late bird gets the moth.
  • You can hit two birds with one stone, but never a stone with two birds.
  • What one fool can do, another can. What one genius can do, another can’t.
  • There are three types of flies: flies, damned flies, and mosquitoes.
  • All bugs come with software. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true.
  • I believe everything, except lies.
  • Theorems are true, unless proved false.
  • Don’t give up on your realities—they may become your dreams.
  • If imagination is normal, then reality is parallel.
  • If a stopped clock is correct twice a day, then a stopped program crashes twice a minute.
  • The moon outshines the sun, at night.
  • When stuck, try to move on.
  • With every step we take, we come closer to putting the future behind us.

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