After going through The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce and some other collections of funny, clever, witty quotations, I felt inspired to conjure (amateurishly) some of my own. So, here we go:
- The early bird gets the worm, but the late bird gets the moth.
- You can hit two birds with one stone, but never a stone with two birds.
- What one fool can do, another can. What one genius can do, another can’t.
- There are three types of flies: flies, damned flies, and mosquitoes.
- All bugs come with software. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true.
- I believe everything, except lies.
- Theorems are true, unless proved false.
- Don’t give up on your realities—they may become your dreams.
- If imagination is normal, then reality is parallel.
- If a stopped clock is correct twice a day, then a stopped program crashes twice a minute.
- The moon outshines the sun, at night.
- When stuck, try to move on.
- With every step we take, we come closer to putting the future behind us.
A Reasoner's Miscellany 